I used to work in a shopping centre. One time as I was walking in to the building I sneezed so hard and totally S*** myself, I was literally about 10 steps away from the workplace so I had to think quick or everyone else would come out and see me.
But at the same time I had to walk real slow to hide what I had done. I took a hard left turn and walked direct in to a department store I beelined for the
underpants section just to find out that I only had $5 on me, so I got the cheapest pair I could find, which was very uncomfortable but I had no choice. I then had to go to the centre toilets and sort everything out, it was a real mess.
I text my boss and told them I was stuck in traffic but in reality I was 100 metres away from the workplace trying to salvage any shred of dignity I could for the next 20 minutes. I'm happy to say the mission was a success and that day is now the benchmark by which all other days are measured.
Every day since has been infinitely better. "Yeah today wasn't great, but I guess I really wasn't so bad. At least I didn't sh** my pants like that one time
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